I Think That I Shall Never See . . .

National Poetry Month isn't just about creating new poetry. It's about lampooning appreciating the poets of the past, too.


Here’s a little poem I didn’t write. It's a lovely little poem. Joyce Kilmer wrote it in 1913:

Sgt. Joyce Kilmer, American poet & member of the 69th Volunteer Infantry Unit (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth’s flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

And here’s another poem I did write. It's . . . it's a little poem:

I think that I shall never see

My apologies to Joyce Kilmer.

A poem lovely as my pee.

A braided flow I micturate
Unless I have a swelled prostate;

A leak that lets me know I’m well
By its strong ammonia smell;

A wonderful relaxing piss
That makes a satisfying hiss;

A pee I guide with my own hands
Down my urethra, out my glans.

Other men have schlongs, like me,
But only I can make mine pee.