New Word Thursday: pelf

Stemming from Old French and related to the word pilfer, pelf is filthy lucre or ill-gotten riches. I found it the other day when someone worked it into a limerick.

Naturally, I couldn't wait to try that myself:

A Christian man, godly and selfless,
Who was powerful, pious, and pelfless,
Lost the fans on his side
On the day that he tried
To make all of our Christmases elfless.

Parenting

Photo credit: Wikipedia

The truth snuck up on me unseen:
My son is becoming a teen.
I asked him to shout
What I should write about.
"Death" he said with moody mien.

The Joy of Victory

The energy comes in a rush,
And I feel my cheeks starting to flush.
I jump from my seat
'Cause I finally beat
That tough level on Candy Crush.

The Funnyman

A funnyman who had once clocked
Many hours but found himself blocked
Threw his pen in dejection —
It pierced his erection,
And now all his jokes are half-cocked.


"Leonid Pasternak - The Passion of creation" by Leonid Pasternak. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.

April Showers

English: Drops of rain Français : Gouttes de pluie (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yes, I whine about rain, but I know
It takes showers to make flowers grow.
Though the weather's a pain
When we get naught but rain,
At least it ain't hail, sleet, or snow.

Double Ent-tendres

It's Three-Word Wednesday time, and today, we use the words douse, naughty, and pale.

Some trees come alive in the night

After Luna has doused her pale light.

Naughty pines, like an eel,

Writhe and wriggle until

Morning would find them standing upright.

The Way to a Man's Heart

My triumphal (or at least monumphal) return to three-word Wednesday begins with the words heave, ponder, and valid. So here's a limerick for you:

A Three-Word Wednesday Limerick: Hire an Editor

Today's three words are abnormal, dangle, and lavish.

An editor knows how to wrangle
Participles that just want to dangle,
And your abnormal text
Will be lavished, not hexed,
If you hire a pro to untangle.

See what others have done with these three words at ThreeWordWednesday.com.

A Lawyer Leaves the Nest

It's three-word Wednesday. Today's words are dependence, rumple, and kept.

The lawyer gave up his dependence
On the love of his rich, aging parents.
In his rumpled old shirt
He kept trying to flirt,
But the best girls were always defendants.

A Three-Word Wednesday Limerick Twofer

Today, I offer you two limericks using the words bubble, lumber, and wreck for Three Word Wednesday.

This wreck of a girl at the club'll

Hop around like she's light as a bubble.

When dancin' she goes

(Oh her poor partner's toes!)

She lumbers like drunk Barney Rubble.

Image by curran.kelleher via Flickr

My ego could burst like a bubble.

I'm a wreck of a poet in trouble.

The way my words lumber

Might induce you to slumber,

Plus I'm not very good at rhyming.

Does God Keep Pictures of Jesus in His Wallet?

Three-Word Wednesday! Today's words: affinity, fidget, and mention

I imagine St. Peter has a sign like this warning Heaven's newest residents to avoid a certain topic when they stand before God:

When you stand before God's great divinity,
Know that telling tales is His affinity.
If you mention His boy,
His long stories will cloy,
And leave you fidgeting for an infinity.

A Twitter Limerick

Sent four consecutive tweets this morning with this limerick of more than 140 characters:

Though I try not to be very cloying
With the rhymes that I'm sometimes employing,
I won't be too shocked
To find that I'm blocked
When my tweets become too damned annoying.

Inasmuch as limericks need titles, this one needs a title. Any ideas*?

* If you suggest "Twimerick," that pain you feel in your back and stomach later this afternoon will be from the rusty pins I've shoved into your voodoo doll.