Ulterior motiveWriting everything using single-syllable words won't make your writing sing. But because it forces you to scrutinize each word as you place it, it can help you uncover some ways to improve your writing.
Compare your two versions of the scene. Find the best parts of the original and the best parts of the monosyllabic version. Combining the two can certainly help that one scene, but what's more important is exploring how some of your simplifications improved the flow of the text and then trying to apply what you've learned to everything you write.
This REwriting prompt can be a fun writing prompt, too. Starting from scratch, write a scene or bit of flash fiction in this monosyllabic style and see what you come up with.