Today's word: acierate

acierate: To turn into steel.

I supposed acieration is in common use in smelting circles, but it probably doesn't get much play among laypeople. In fact, I found acierate in Webster's New World Dictionary, but it's absent from Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, negating the zombify advantage that I thought MW had over WNW.

I wonder, though, if (and how many times) some form of acierate has appeared in an X-Men comic in a description of Colossus, the Russian weightlifter who can turn his flesh into "organic steel."

Vocabulary Missed

This would be funnier if it weren't the vocabulary missed list that my son brought home. Can you find the three errors?

A typo I could live with. A stray, unexpected capitalization is iffy. But to have a word misspelled on a spelling list is just too much.

I contacted the teacher and found out that she had asked one of her parent helpers to type up the list, but then hadn't checked the work.

Three Word Wednesday: Final Jeopardy

It's Three Word Wednesday! This week's words: engulf, imminent, and tamper

Your Fifteen Minutes of Flame Are Over

I had imagined laughing with satisfaction while our house was engulfed in flame, but I couldn't get the gasoline to light. Someone must have tampered with the gas cans while I was prying the diamond out of Susan's engagement ring. As I threw match after lighted match at damp curtains, I realized that after everything I had been through — after a high-speed, headlong drive into a tree, after slicing off two of my own fingers, and after pouring boiling acid on my own face — my failure to win Jeff Probst's new reality show Insurance Fraud was imminent.

[Wait. Did I actually manage to insert some social commentary into these random writings? I hate when that happens.

And I love it, too.]

Today's Word: rhabdomancy

rhabdomancy: Fortune-telling by rods or wands.

You might recognize the link to magical power that -mancy brings to the word from necromancy or William O. Gibson's Neuromancer. There's also oneiromancy (divination through dreams), hydromancy (divination by water), and a whole mess of others.

Rhabdo- was a new root for me, usually indicating, in some way, "rods." For example, a rhabdovirus is a rod- or bullet-shaped virus, and a rhabdom (a good Scrabble word) is a rod-like internal structure of an arthropod's eye.

I don't think it counts as rhabdomancy if you predict that someone is in danger of being attacked and then immediately start hitting him with a stick. Predictions about Rod Stewart also aren't necessarily rhabdomancy.

Rod Blagojevich could have use a good rhabdomancer.

Today's Word: ochlocracy (And I Go Political)

It isn't often anymore that I stumble upon a word that I don't already know or can't figure out the meaning of. When it does happen, though, it is cause for a small, personal celebration. This happened to me on Tuesday, when I was wasting lots of time doing intensive research in the blogosphere and happened upon this fun little word:

ochlocracy: Mob rule; rule by the masses. Ochlocracy, the evil twin of democracy, gives absolute power to the fickle majority -- Wikipedia notes that it is a pejorative term for majoritarianism -- neglecting the rights of the minority and ignoring appeals to logic, reasoning, precedent, and the letter of the law.

Unfortunately, I can't remember where I saw the word, or even whether it was used seriously or sarcastically in reference to the Obama administration. If anyone out there who tweets in the same circles as I can recall  the appearance of this word in a recent post, please let me know and I'll add a link here. (Also, if you can think of another word that uses the "ochlo" word base, let me know that, too. I'm drawing a blank.)

Ochlocracy is ultimately a corruption of democracy through fear, intimidation, and misinformation. The masses, in general, are sheep. Somewhere, a shepherd is silently guiding them toward his or her own purposes.

I see the Tea Party as an attempt to remake American democracy into an ochlocracy. Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and their ilk use fear (building a mosque near ground zero will invite more terrorist attacks; letting gay people marry will make your marriage meaningless), misinformation (where was our president born?), patriotism (ever hear Mrs. Palin use the phrase "Real America"?), and intimidation (like Ted Nugent's implication that people who support universal healthcare should be shot) to rile their base in opposition to anything even remotely linked to President Obama.

How do they do it? By convincing their people that the "lame-stream media" -- that is, everything except Fox News -- is distorting the truth. By convincing them that they can't believe anything they hear on TV, read online or in a newspaper, or hear from people who have devoted their lives to truth (e.g., scientists and researchers) except for what the Party tells you is true.

The Tea Party is creating a mob of intentionally ill-informed voters who have been conditioned to deny any statements that run counter to the Tea Party's platform, regardless of reason, proof, and logic.

Certainly, there will be great overlap between a true ochlocracy and a kakistocracy. Especially if the Tea Party is involved.

Three Word Wednesday: Glue with Attitude?

Today's three words are gait, nudge, and ripen.

The Apple of My Ire, or, When a Long Face Becomes a Big Head

The talking horse spoke loud and clear:
"These apples will not do.
The Granny Smiths are much too green,
The Galas hard to chew.

The Red Delicious? All are bruised;
The Fuji are too small.
The Braeburns need to ripen some —
Return them to my stall.

The bitter MacIntosh is out.
The Ortleys hurt my throat.
The Sturmer Pippin aren't quite there.
I don't like Rusty Coat."

"You spoiled horse!" I told the mare,
"I've had enough of you!
So you're a talking horse — so what?! —
I'll sell you off for glue!"

She nudged my ear and gently whined,
"I know you never would,"
But from her change in gait I knew
She wondered if I could.

She took an Ortley from the pile
And, though it made her wince,
She chewed it up and smiled and I
Have had no problems since.

Today's Word: astroturfing

Every football fan and marching band geek knows that astroturf is that fake-grass green stuff that covers football fields both inside and out. But recently (I believe within the last decade, though I'm not positive of that), astroturf has taken on new life (and has been verbed), and it's something you should consider during these election times.

astroturf: The creation of a false impression that an orchestrated campaign actually grew from a spontaneous outpouring of the public. It's called astroturfing because it's a false grassroots campaign. Astroturfing is by definition is dishonest; so dishonest that the Public Relations Society of America strictly prohibits it.

Astroturfing can be used both commercially and politically.

Political Astroturfing

The government of China has, for quite a while, been paying some of its citizens per comment to visit online forums, blogs, and bulletin boards and leave comments that put China in a favorable light.

Closer to home, accusations of astroturfing have been flung from both sides of the aisle. One such accusation involves the "Al Gore's Penguin Army" video, a video that looks like an amateur spoof of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. When a link to that video appeared as the top paid search result for "Al Gore," someone looked closer. The video was apparently created by DCI Group, a public relations lobbying firm whose clients included General Motors and Exxon Mobile.

Astroturfing in Business

Have you ever heard of Working Families for Wal-Mart? Originally billed as a grassroots organization to combat all the negativity that was (rightly) being thrown at Wal-Mart, it was soon discovered that the Wal-Mart corporation itself was bankrolling the group, and blogs written for the group were created not by Wal-Mart employees and their families but by employees of a PR firm hired by Wal-Mart. Working Families for Wal-Mart has since disappeared.

On the opposite side, The Daily Show recently revealed some astroturfing on the anti-Wal-Mart side when Aasif Mandvi found that people picketing Wal-Mart in protest over low wages and the lack of benefits were actually hired hands who -- you guessed it -- were making minimum wage and got no benefits. That's not just astroturfing, that's irony.

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My point is this: In politics and commerce alike, what you see might not necessarily be what is actually happening. Don't rely on what others say is right or is popular: you have to make the decision for yourself. Snake oil salesman haven't been completely relegated to the past.

Today's Word: quinquennium

quinquennium: A practically useless word referring to a period of five years. There are twenty quinquennia (or, if you're boring, quinquenniums) in a centennial.

Few things are worth celebrating after only five years. Only three come to mind at the moment: surviving cancer, staying sober, and being divorced. I've never had cancer, and I'm not a huge fan of staying sober, and I still have another year and a half before the quinquennial of my divorce. Doesn't mean I can't start celebrating now, though, does it?

Is there something you celebrate after only five years?

Pagliacci dall'Inferno

A little flash fiction for a Friday morn. When I started writing it, it was supposed to be kind of funny — about a kid who truly believes that clowns are evil demons. But then it turned dark, and then darker still.
——————————
It wasn't that Arnold was afraid of clowns, at least not anymore. He knew they were evil, but he also knew that he was no longer young enough to be their main target, so he wasn't afraid of them. Clowns preyed upon the very young, the impressionable, the innocent, and he would be starting high school in the fall. He was old enough to know not to accept their drug-laced candies and balloon shapes. Old enough to know their true intent.

Albert alone knew what evil lurked behind those brightly colored clothes, those false cosmetic faces, and he would stand for it no longer. If no one else would do anything about this evil menace, it was up to him.

He slipped the revolver back into the front pocket of his hooded sweatshirt. Before him, silent on the dark pavement, was a costumed fiend who would never again lure a child into the darkness to be tortured, violated, and ultimately ritualistically eaten by a coven of paint-faced devils.

Albert turned toward home. He would return the revolver to the cigar box in his parents' closet tomorrow, after the circus left town. Until then, he would remain vigilant, scrutinizing every shadow, every hiding place, watching for both evil, fake-faced fiends and the only devils on Earth that were still more vile — the most maleficent abominations to walk the Earth: chihuahuas.

A Limerick Called "Limericks"

A lim'rick's an odd little sort
Of fictional action report:
It gives you the facts
Of words and of acts,
But you won't want to use one in court.

When no one around you can sing
'Bout the joys that a poem can bring,
And a haiku's too terse,
But you still need a verse,
Then a lim'rick might be just the thing.