Three Word Wednesday: A Naughty Sonnet

This Wednesday's words are demure, volatile, and offend.

The Dominatrix, or, Watch Out! She's a Man(eater)!

Demure she's not; she gives them strong commands
With confidence and purpose in her voice.
She never asks, she takes men by the hands
And tells them what to do &mdash they have no choice.
And they obey, entrancéd by her eyes
Of sparkling blue — a heav'nly angel's gaze,
Like placid lakes reflecting wondrous skies.
Their focus never wavers, never strays,
No matter that the orders from her lips
(So hotly red, so volatile) offend.
They follow only paths laid by her hips,
And follow them until the very end.
Her beauty seizes men like no one's can;
You'd never guess she used to be a man.

A Twitter Limerick

Sent four consecutive tweets this morning with this limerick of more than 140 characters:

Though I try not to be very cloying
With the rhymes that I'm sometimes employing,
I won't be too shocked
To find that I'm blocked
When my tweets become too damned annoying.

Inasmuch as limericks need titles, this one needs a title. Any ideas*?

* If you suggest "Twimerick," that pain you feel in your back and stomach later this afternoon will be from the rusty pins I've shoved into your voodoo doll.

Today's Word: galaxy

galaxy: The base of galaxy is derived from gala, Greek for "milk." Hence galactorrhea, the spontaneous flow of milk from one's jubblies. Of course, we're more accustomed to seeing lacto- as a "milky" prefix. Notice that galacto- is just one syllable larger than lacto-; that isn't a coincidence. The Latin lacto- comes from the Greek.

According the Merriam-Webster's great Collegiate Dictionary, the earliest known use of galaxy comes from Chaucer sometime before 1385 in a poem called The House of Fame:

Se yonder, loo, the Galaxie,
Which men clepeth the Milky Wey,
For hit is whit.

(See yonder, lo, the galaxy
Which men call the Milky Way
For it is white.)

Clearly, then, the name Milky Way was common at least in England at this time. Galaxy wasn't used as a generic term for other massive star systems until the 19th century.

Today's Word: Abderian laughter

Abderian laughter: Foolish laughter at things one does not understand. For some reason, the inhabitants of ancient Abdera (in Thrace, Greece) were considered simple-headed, rustic idiots who laughed at and derided things they did not understand.

Pre-Socratic philosopher Democritus, known as the Laughing Philosopher (presumably because he laughed at man's foolishness) was from Abdera. He is considered by some to be the father of modern science because he, along with his teacher Leucippus, developed an atomic theory of matter that was, as they say, way ahead of its time. Other thinkers of his time were probably more liable to laugh at his theories than him at theirs.

PortmanteauRing -- a Merger

A while back, I started another blog called PortmanteauRing (aka Amidala's foot jewelry), where I had thought I would regularly collect examples of portmanteau words. It started off okay, but I just don't have the time and energy to keep up with it. So I have imported all the posts (51) from PortmanteauRing to here and given them the tag portmanteau.

I'm sure I'll still highlight more portmanteau words in the future, but they'll all be here instead.

And if you aren't sure what a portmanteau word is, start reading here.

Get 'em While They're Young

I don't want to seem cruel, even if I am. This is a little something I found at the local 4-H fair a few weeks back:

We have to get them while they're young, people! This isn't simply a spelling matter, either; it's a matter of pride in doing your work well. It's a matter of teaching children that they should try to do things the right way and not just be "good enough." Reach for perfection even though you know you'll never achieve it. And, by Jove, look your projects over one last time before you turn them in!

Of course, experience counts for something. We learn from our mistakes, and this is the type of mistake that some (not me!) would describe using the execrable phrase "teachable moment."

I hope someone in this child's family teases this boy just a little bit about '"Untied Methodist." It won't take much for it to sink in permanently, and this child will never make this mistake again.

(In the same way that I will never again misspell gardener, the word that landed me in second place in my fifth-grade spelling bee. Alas, Lloyd Suh, you will always hold a dark place in my memory!)

My First Three-Word Wednesday

Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Undercooked

The feast that I threw at the villa
Like a charm became quite the thrillah.
All my enemies there
Had the chicken — cooked rare
And robust with the sweet salmonella.

What Is Three-Word Wednesday?

There are all sorts of blogs and Twitter feeds out there that will give writers a daily writing prompt. This is a prompt of a different sort. Every Wednesday at Three Word Wednesday, ThomG posts three words. Writers write something using the words. It's that simple.

As you can see from this limerick, this Wednesday's words are feast, charm, and robust.

As the site itself notes, "Three Word Wednesday gives writers, poets and those who journal a mid-week jolt of creativity."

It also isn't bad link bait.

zucchetto vs. yarmulke

A zucchetto (also called a pileolus) is a skull cap worn by clergy in the Roman Catholic church (and a few other denominations). The different colors of zucchetti (or zucchettos) indicate a clergyman's level in the church hierarchy. I wish I could take credit for this little illustrative number:

Zucchetto in Italian means "little gourd," like a small pumpkin, and indeed it does look like someone lopped off the top of a pumpkin and used it as a hat.

This is similar to the Jewish yarmulke, or kippah, which apparently can withstand more creativity and individualism.

I took a closer look because I was interested in the differences. It turns out that zucchetti are created specifically from eight panels that are sewn together, making it somewhat octahedral. (They're also a little larger than yarmulkes.) As you can see from the images above and below, there are much fewer restrictions on how you put a yarmulke together and what you can put on it.

Today's Word: badinage

badinage: What many on Twitter attempt, but few succeed in: playful repartee, witty banter.

From Charles Dickens's Pickwick Papers:

Mr. Bob Sawyer was seated, not in the dickey, but on the roof of the chaise, with his legs as far asunder as they would conveniently go, wearing Mr. Samuel Weller's hat on one side of his head, and bearing, in one hand, a most enormous sandwich, while, in the other, he supported a goodly-sized case-bottle, to both of which he applied himself with intense relish, varying the monotony of the occupation by an occasional howl, or the interchange of some lively badinage with any passing stranger.

Badinage is one of my personal favorite pastimes, and I have my moments. Not enough of them, but they're there.

Changing the F Word

I would get so much more done in my life if I didn't have Comedy Central piped in to my boob tube: The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Tosh.0, the weekend stand-up, the return of Futurama. But of all Comedy Central's offering, my number-one guilty pleasure (there's only one, I promise!) has to be South Park.

As juvenile and toilet-related as that show gets, there are times when it just shines in a way that no other show can.

The rerun* that I saw last night was one of those moments. And it was word-related, so it fits right in to this blog!

The episode was called "The F Word", but it wasn't about the F-word, it was about the word fag.

A loud and obnoxious gang of Harley riders repeatedly spread their noise pollution around town. The South Park boys — and everyone else their age — start referring to those bikers as fags. Through faulty logic, the gang then decides that they ought to be even louder.

TSPB launch a scheme, painting "Fags Get Out" in red spray paint a few places in town. When the boys are brought before the school's principal, they have to explain that they weren't using fag to refer to homosexuals, but to loud, obnoxious Harley riders.

Here, they offer some great arguments, and the South Park writers offer some great wordplay, as well as a skewed view of how language changes:

Councilman 1: How is it that you think that referring to gay people as 'fags' in today's world is acceptable?
Kyle: "Because we're not referring to gay people. You can be gay and not be a fag.
Stan: Yeah. A lot of fags aren't gay.
Councilman 2: I happen to be gay, boys. Do you think I'm a fag?
Stan: Do you ride a big, loud Harley and go up and down the street ruining everyone's nice time?
Councilman 2: No.
Stan: Then you're not a fag.
Councilman 1: So what if a guy is gay and rides a Harley?
Cartman: Then he's a gay fag. Is this really this hard?
Stan: I don't know.
Kenny: Thith ith futhink rithiculouth.
Stan: All right, look. You're driving in your car, okay, and you're waiting to make a left at a traffic signal. The light turns yellow, should be your turn to go, but the traffic coming at you just keeps coming. And even when the light turns red, a guy in a BMW runs the red light so you can't make your left turn. What goes through your mind?
Otherwise silent councilman at the far end of the table: ...fag.
Stan: Right! But you're not thinking, 'Oh, he's a homosexual.' You're thinking, 'Oh, he's an inconsiderate douchebag, like a Harley rider.
Councilman 1: This...this is making insanely good sense to me.
Councilwoman: All right. How about this. What would you call a straight man who doesn't own a Harley but likes them and might buy one someday.
Cartman: You call him bike curious.

(This last line floored me.)

With the help of the local gay advocacy group, South Park's mayor passes a city ordinance to officially change the meaning of the word fag to refer to obnoxious Harley riders. A national politician then goes on air saying that, because dictionaries don't contain South Park's new definition of fag, using it is still harmful to the gay community.

The only solution? Convince the dictionary people to change the definition. In this case, "the dictionary people" refers to Emmanuel Lewis (who, to my surprise, really is still alive), the dictionary's head editor, who arrives with a small entourage to hear arguments for the definition change. But before the arguments can commence, the angry Harley gang rolls back into town to kick some ass, proving beyond a doubt that they really are a bunch of fags.

(A favorite shot: Emmanuel Lewis being dragged by a chain behind a Harley, shouting "You obdurate beasts!")

They're eventually run out of town by shotgun-wielding homosexuals, some of whom have been toting "Gays Against Fags" signs.

If you've only ever thought that South Park was a sophomoric, potty-mouthed mass of nincompoopery, this episode is a good example of how it can be a witty, smart, thought-provoking, potty-mouthed mass of nincompoopery.

After your kids go to bed, click the link above and watch the episode.

And try not to wake them up with your laughter.

* I realize that this episode is from last season. I didn't have cable last season, and I likely won't have cable next season after my introductory rate runs out in mid-January. Which, I guess, means I either have to watch as much South Park as I can in the next four months or fork over the dough to buy 13 seasons worth of South Park DVDs. Probably both.