So I asked the Twitterverse for some ideas, and the Twitterverse answered. Or at least @WendySparrow did.
Questions in Internal MonologueAs @WendySparrow put it, one annoying choice that some writers make is "too many internal dialogue [sic] questions. It's something I cut in revision but my MCs sound like they're on Jeopardy."
It's a good point. Having a character's inner monologue appear as a string of questions is a violation of that old "rule" to show, not tell. A long list of internal questions tells us readers what the character is confused about, anxious about, or frustrated by, but completely bypasses the more interesting — and difficult — task of making the character act confused, anxious, or frustrated.
Writing a story is easy. It's writing a story well is hard.