Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Limerick Lunacy

So, long story short, I was knee deep in the history and construction of limericks, and I conjured these silly things:

There once was a man from Peru,
Who wrote limericks up to line two.

Stupid, right? But I didn't stop there.

There once was a lass from "Paree"
Whose limericks went to line three.
They started off well.

And I had to finish:

A man you all know (Albert Gore)
Wrote limericks up to line four,
And then he'd hit Send
And the things would just end.
Limericks are fun and funny things, but messing with the form can be even funner.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

World Poetry Day 2017

A poem of the spring is what
   I've set my self to write —
Of gentle breezes, greening buds,
   And herons taking flight.
Happy spring, everybody!

But out my window, all I see
   Is cars and lots and rust,
And hear the wailing ambulance,
   And smell the drifting dust.

Writing poetry that's great
   Takes something I ain't got.
Sure, I've got the words, the rhymes,
   But inspiration? Not.

For this sad sot, his "poems" are
   Like home plumbing, I guess:
I can tinker with the pipes
   But I only make a mess.

So happy spring to those of you
   Whose minds are blue and clear,
And have a great World Poetry Day
   If I haven't ruined it here.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Fun with Page Numbers in Microsoft Word

Are you tired of boring old page numbers in your Word document's header or footer? Do you feel like your doctoral dissertation is missing that certain je ne sais quoi to make your advisors smile? Are you looking for a way to distract readers from the mediocre writing in the novel you've spent the last eight years writing?

I can help.